Womens-Place

This was written a few years ago and I felt the need to bring

it to the table again…I hope it helps someone, somewhere out there!

I realized kids are so needy to KNOW they are loved and accepted just the way they are. When a kid feels something, even if it is the tiniest negative thing, from a mom, that really puts their world in a tail spin. No matter how minute to us it is, we as moms need to realize it is not all about us and our free time all the time. Rather, it is all about establishing that we have no conditions on our love for them. It’s about not being so wound up we vent on them when we are irritated or frustrated with other things in our lives. And it’s about seeing beyond their imperfections. They are God’s MOST precious gifts to us. I have also seen in my life since Chris died what raising your voice and yelling can do to a child. It strips them of their self worth. It steals their child-like joy. It humiliates them. We yell not because we are mad, but we are lacking self control. Yet we expect them to have it? Hypocrite I am. You know what that is called? BULLYING. Bullying our own kids. We would never allow someone else to EVER talk to our child like that. How dare we?

As mothers we sacrifice a lot of things; time, our own needs; and, yes, there are the times we need our space. Yes, we need peace and quiet, but when was the last time we saw through the eyes of a child? Saw what they were needing – acceptance as they are. Whether it be in the moment of despair, anger, joy, crappy diapers, whining or manipulation on their part. Unconditional love and acceptance, without bringing humiliation into the correction, will make the eyes of your child light up with confidence, with a can-do attitude.

I saw that last night, all in a moment of stopping and really looking at the treasure of my 14-year-old son sitting in front of me while we worked together, side by side.

I saw it with my boys who ran in from the bus screaming “Mommy,” and then again at bedtime with “Night-night, Mommy,” looking directly into my eyes and having them loving me just where I am at.

From my 8-year-old who said I am the greatest mom in the world with the beautiful artwork she handed to me.

From my toddler, Reignah, who hugs like no other I have known and rubs her face in my boobs.

From Gracie who handed me the crappy diaper she took off herself, and then said “Gracie did it. Here mommy, Gracie did it,” then handed me a wipe. Or when she says, “Love you Mommy.”

I encourage you today. I encourage you to walk a mile or two in your kids’ shoes. I encourage you to rise above the anger and frustrations. I encourage you to not yell at your child. I encourage you not to show your disappointments for their mistakes. Rather, show them the encouragement they need to help them succeed next time. I encourage you to really love them unconditionally. Really. I encourage you to speak to them like you want to be spoken to. Kids do as they see, as they hear, as they are taught. They mirror us. What is your little one seeing today? What is your teenager seeing today? What is your adolescent seeing today?