Nothing expected…
What do I love about my marriage? Honestly? EVERYTHING! I know you must think I am crazy but it is true. I love the good, the bad and the ugly…even though the ugly rarely exists. I love the fact that the love Tim and I share has no strings attached. Nothing is expected in returned except what has been the key to our beautiful thriving relationship. Honesty, communication, passion and having God in our lives. Today my husband took me to a store to spend a gift card I got from a friend for my birthday. It was to a gorgeous shop in Owego, NY/. They sell Vera Bradley and other high end items that normally I would shop clearance. Well I was looking through the purses and was picking and Tim picked one out that I adored…perfect in every way! Then he insisted I get the matching wallet! Well my gift card was $80 shy of my purchase and I said I can go pick the other one in the same pattern that was cheaper and just as nice. Tim looked at me and said no. He wanted to bless me. He sis not want me to use any of the “mad money” stash he gives me…he wanted to just bless me. He wanted nothing more than to just shower me with his love and bless me. He wanted nothing but to see my joy and excitement. As I stood there and looked in his eyes…I saw beyond his big brown eyes. I saw his soul. I saw his passion. The depth of his love. I saw how he loves Christ…that is how he loves me. He is so full of Gods love it spills out in all this man does. He may not talk tons. But when Tim speaks tune your ears in…because ten to one, it will knock your socks off. He is a tender man but do not let that fool you he is a warrior. I am blessed…nothing expected beyond what we promised each other on the day we were married. Such a simple easy foundation to a great life of passion!
Beauty?
Beauty? Who determines what beauty is? I so hate that society has given us criteria to us women and our girls what we should look like. What weight we should be at, what size we should be. Watching a show last night I was so mad that a young girl was called plus sized at a size TEN! WHAT? Ummm…I wear a size 10 sometimes a 12 and I am feeling pretty darn good. Then I had that sick pit in my stomach that I was fat, needed to lose more weight and workout harder. At 41 years old hearing that almost put me in a freak-out tail spin. Can you imagine what this can do to our younger girls and teens? We need to remind our girls beauty comes from the inside. Beauty is not a size. Beauty is not a certain look. Remind someone today how beautiful they are by an email, call, post, or send a card. I bet someone will be blessed and you might just make a huge change in their thinking!
Whew…
Long day today. I am realizing not every day can be a great day, Too many time we tend to put on happy faces to just look like we are okay. society seems to make the demand on on us to have this mentality. I am finding that I would rather be myself, be real and answer real when asked how I am doing than lie and smile and say “awesome.” What really would the outcome be if we were just real with our emotions and people? There is a fear of judgement when we answer like this. I am challenging myself more and more everyday to be honest with how I feel and how I answer others. I am not saying unload and spill your guts, I am just saying be real. Try it and see what results you get!
Kids with many health issues…
Wow…this past year we went through a gazillion doctor appointments! We got our end of the year statement from out health insurance company and I was WOWED by what we saved and what we payed in co-payments for regular doctor visits, prescriptions, hospital stays and specialists. I am BLESSED! even though we payed thousands of dollars out of pocket it does not compare to the millions of dollars we did not pay. I cannot fathom what other families do that cannot afford health care coverage. What would Tim and I do with out it? We have kids with high medical needs and then there is me, lol
I know there is state and government help but goodness, God forbid you are $2 over a certain percentage your rate jacks up to where you struggle to put food on your table, I know a few people in this situation. I am not sure why as a country we make it so difficult to have health care coverage available to everyone. It just makes me angry.
Random Hmmm’s
So having teenagers has opened a whole new world for me. Well, I new it would be different but wow. Then I sit back and I think…”eeks” James, Kenyari, Grace and Reignah are all a year apart and oh my gosh…they are going to be teenagers togeter! (insert big eyes here) The joy of parenting id really funny sometimes and then there are days where one might think Eeeks! No matter what rolls my way along with Tim…we are so wanting more. (this might be a good place for someone to cyber smack us) Seriously, we love our life. The ups and downs, the craziness of it and the hugs and love that goes with it. We learn as we go with each one and we think “wow let’s have more’ Nothing seems to scare us. Been there done that. Life is too short to hide under a rock. Teenagers cannot scare me…well they do make me put myself in time out. In the long run…my life is amazing and I would not change it for the world!
Miracles
Today is a miracle celebration for me! Seven years ago I was blessed with a 1 pound 5 ounce baby girl Grace Nicole. Her chance for a normal life was only 20% We got the call she was up for adoption and in an instant we were yes. Remind you that we were told of all the issues with her health. We did not care at all. We knew with every ounce of our being this baby was a Wilkinson. We adopted her when she was able to leave the hospital on August 6th. Five months after her birth. She weigh just under 10 pounds. She is SEVEN today! My perfectly NORMAL little miracle! Yes, we have had 21 brain surgeries since her birth but she has shown no slowing down of her strength, courage and bravery! She is a gift from God for sure. I am honored He chose me to be her mom. I love you Gracie…you bring me such joy!
Sunday run…
I am about to jump on the treadmill for a run. Running has always been a passion of mine. Since my weight loss I decided to give it a whirl and am so in love with the freedom I feel with it. Making the time has been hard not because I lack time. I am finding that if you really want to do something you WILL do it. There is always a to make things happen. Commitment is just one of those things we all need to work at harder. Not just in an exercise plan but in life… relationships. I encourage you to reach with in your self and challenge your self to reach for something you want…one step at a time.
Gluten Free, oy!
Rebeccah my almost thirteen year old has Celiac’s disease. She has had it for quite some time. When we first found out she had it, we were thrilled to know what was making her so sick.
Then the journey began…it is a whole new world of cooking for our family of ten! Beccah has it pretty bad, she cannot have the cross contamination of gluten foods come in contact with her food. What really is awesome is how she has embraced her disease and began making her own baked goods. She puts some gluten-free products that stores sell to shame. On that note, hee hee…the stores bug the heck out of me. There are so many places that have yet to realize there are so many out there with this disease and do not carry any products.
Today I was THRILLED to find my little town of Apalachin NY grocery store has more items now! The prices are so much better than having to shop at specialty health food stores. I hope in the near future we see more stores, restaurants, schools and places of businesses becoming aware of gluten free living.
Working out…Self worth
I went to the gym today with Tim and was working out…was wondering why taking care of your self gets put on the back burner so much. I had a really good time and enjoyed a few hours out of the house. I worked hard to lose 250 pounds and decided that I want to not work out to get a “ripped oh baby look”…but to feel good not just physically but in my mind too. Finding self-worth for me is amazing. Yes, being a mom of 8 children, wife, sister, aunt, daughter, friend are all so important to me but they do not give me self worth. Self worth? I want to know where do you get your self worth from? I am discovering my self-worth comes from with in myself…the joy I feel being who I am and who I can become. To better myself everyday. To accept the things that life throws at me and fight for what I believe in. To love and walk in peace. I am sure there is so much more I need to know about self worth…I think I will be back with this topic.
Spice and everything nice…
As March 27th approaches, I have been thinking so much about love, marriage and intimacy. Tim and I will be married 11 years coming up and I think of the “wow” in our lives. We have walked and endure many trials, losses, medical issues that I think could have caused us many times to just run in different directions. The glue to marriage for us is honesty, communication, our faith, not blaming one another and clinging to one another in the times of desperation and in times of joy. Life is going to be radical and out of our control. Standing arm in arm honoring your vows and remembering for better or worse that is a vital organ that needs your attention. When you take the time to really tell your significant other on a daily basis something simple as thank you, I love you, your beautiful, dinner was awesome…you plant a seed that will get nourish over the many years to come.
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