Womens-Place

Common sense based on a strict construction of the term, consists of what people in common would agree on that which they “sense” as their common natural understanding.  Some people (such as the authors of Merriam-Webster Online) use the phrase to refer to beliefs or propositions that — in their opinion — most people would consider prudent and of sound judgment, without reliance on esoteric knowledge or study or research, but based upon what they see as knowledge held by people “in common”. Thus “common sense” (in this view) equates to the knowledge and experience which most people already have, or which the person using the term believes that they do or should have. However this is not the common dictionary definition. The most common meaning to the phrase is good sense and sound judgement in practical matters. It has nothing to do with what other people may think or feel.

Definition: sound and prudent judgment based on a simple perception of the situation or facts

Hmmm…just my very interesting word of the day.  I am just trying to understand this word since it seems that it is so random in my vocabulary according to Webster’s Online Dictionary.  I guess it would depend on in what “act” I am performing?

When it comes to protecting my family and making medical decisions boy common sense kicks in and I am on the mark and hit the bulls eye!  Money making decisions boom, on the mark as well. When it comes to random things like, tractors, chains, walking the line, stairs, horses and what not.  I think a line is cross and recklessness comes into my vocabulary way to fast…not on purpose though, just very adventurous, edgy, spitfire-like, spicy, fly by the seat of my pants girl.  I will let you look up the definitions to those adjectives!

As my husband Tim says, life is never boring with me around, I must agree…I keep it lively, ah, another adjective!

Laughter, oh the smiles and joy that comes from seeing a little one belly laugh just does me in!  Tonight I Skyped with my Gracie girl in Hershey as she was lying in her hospital bed. I got our family gathered around the computer and we just talked.  How kids are just full of life just amazes me.  Adults are really funny. We tend to just get so caught up in so many issues that never seem to ever end.  We lose our joy so fast.  We lose sight of the end of the turmoil but kids, man, they just seem to know nothing more than joy, hope and they have so much faith that they know that it  will get better. Yet, I see this little one going though so much and yet there is so much joy in the midst of her sever pain she smiles through it.

Tonight I wanted to make her laugh.  I decided to do what I know Grace loves best. Mommy being crazy is her best medicine.  I started telling her she was my little love baby and that I was going to bang down her door and take her to my love shack…where we can get together and and just have some fun!  So I decided again to You Tube the

B-52’s Love Shack…so the music starts, we sing and dance…Grace is jamming, arms moving, giggles are coming out, mommy is dancing in her chair, singing from Gracie, singing from mommy is filling the room…nurse comes in and thinks it is great.  We get to the part of Bang bang on the door baby…it gets louder and louder and the release as she is screaming it is relieving the pressure from her soul…she is looking intense and freedom is coming to her as she is singing it. By the end of the song she had been moving limbs, heart rate up and NO head pain what so ever!

I told my sweet amazing Grace that we keep fighting, we keep banging on that door for answers, we NEVER give up…she tells me “okay mommy” “we keep banging on the door, okay”  That is right never give up, never lose hope…once you lose, you become an open target.

Later on, I called to say good night…she told me she loved to go to sleep…she said when I go to sleep the angels come and sing and dance all around me mommy and I talk with them and they talk with me. Do I believe her? You bet your tooshy I do.  So Grace wants to know what door you need to be banging on?

Hmmm…it is not a good thing when a mommy has to call the hospital switch board to page Neurosurgery to get the on call to respond to  your husband and nurses page to your child’s room in the hospital. Tisk, tisk. Naughty doctor on call. He responded faster to me and had his stuff together and apologized profusely for 20 minutes.  In his defense he is one of our favorite docs and he never has had a run in with me and has heard of what I am capable of doing to residents who lack compassion and ethics caring for my child.  Now, mind you, I do not beat them up. I do however hold them to HIGH standards when treating my child.  You do not say oops…when treating my child and you do not, NOT return a page. You will not PRACTICE medicine on my child and you WILL step out of your text book and become a human being when treating my child.  You will NOT be rude and cut me off when I am asking questions and You WILL answer questions.  You WILL know that I know my child best and you will NOT challenge that fact.  Sounds harsh?  Nope, not after watching my daughter have over 30 brain surgeries in a year.  Not after taking many medical courses to educate myself and not after knowing that God called that Amazing Gracie Nicole by name and entrusted her care to us the day he placed her in our care.  He is the one that guides us.  So you might be asking, did I really do it?  You bet your butt I did…and I  will do it over and over again!  I am that fiery and I will fight for my child with every breath that I take.  Not only did I do that but I set up Skype with Tim before I left,  not only to help soothe Grace during times when she needed me but to keep tabs on her care and to make my presence known to all.  This momma does not play around.

Earlier today I had to talk with one of her Dr’s who insisted she still did not need a med change but yet I am on the phone and I can hear my child crying out in pain and the meds she was on was not touching her.  I promptly told Tim to hand him the phone and when he got on he was not receiving from me so I had to INSIST that he listen and boy was his undies in a wad  because his pride was in the way.  Well if you have that much pride in the way that you cannot see a child is in need of a new pain med I am going to over ride you and you are about to get it in a realllllly bad way.  So, hence the theme of the blog today: Another resident Dr. Bites the Dust.  I got him on the phone and let him know that it was NOT going to be tolerated. He tried to tell me that she had pain meds. I told him her body has built up a tolerance to the narcotic he was using as she had been on it so long for so many different times and he WAS going to change it.  He tried to tell me no and I promptly gave him a very vivid mental picture of a kick to his manhood, we could just ice it and when he cried out we could offer Tylenol but we did have something stronger but I am sure we do not want to do too many things at once just in case the ice or Tylenol could work???  Hmmm…so the new pain med is on board and Grace is NOT in pain any longer.   I also told him he needed to change the setting on her shunt and confirm it with an x-ray as the last time a HUGE error was made and it was wrong. He tried to argue with me the machine confirms it and is accurate and I said the last two time the machine was wrong and Grace was the brunt of the machines error and you will do what I ask.  He asked why I was trying to argue. I told him he had not seen me nor heard me argue this was me telling him to do what I asked.  I told  him once again you will order the x-ray, please and confirm.  He said okay.  Then I told him when my husband pages you through the nurse you will come to the room or at least let them know you are aware of the page and you will put the required orders in for the pain meds.  He answered yes.  He was on a roll once I had him understanding I meant business.

I had Tim on the phone and told him I wanted to speak to the nurse now.  I told her I was going to have Tim press the call bell every hour not to harass her but to send a message to her Dr. until all the changes were made and she was “you go mom”  It was not to punish the nurse but to send a message that we are not just measly parents sitting by leaving the care for our children up to them.  We are their voices. We have to stand up and be educated and also strong to say NO…you will not do that or NO you will do this or whatever it is you have to be in sync with the Holy Spirit and stand firm and not be bullied into making fearful decisions because they have MD behind their name. You have MOMMY and DADDY behind yours!

The nurse jumped on board and did not agree with the Dr at all…so she got the attending on call and went over his head.  So everything that I requested of the Resident on call earlier was placed in order.  When he came back in the room to see Grace I was on Skype with her and he was a totally different Dr.  He was respectful and Tim and I were like “wow”.  We saw the change in his whole demeanor.   Now our daughter is comfortable and not in pain at this moment.  We fought for what we knew was right. Never be afraid…when you know in your heart it is right you fight like mad to make it happen.

So after the resident left… mommy wanted to make her Grace laugh.  So I went to You Tube.  Where I found the song by Queen.  Another One Bites the Dust.  Gracie, Daddy and I sang it and danced to it on the web cams.  She laughed, smiled and just was happy.  If that is what it takes I am willing to do it all over again.  I am not afraid to fight for what I believe in…what fight do you need to believe in?

Quietness has escaped most of my days…seems like I have barley enough time to breath.  Sleep seems so far away during the day…then night comes to me and just when I think my body has exuded all my pent up energy, my mind rewinds over the days that I have simply lost due to so much chaos.  ”Where am I?” I ask my self as I am laying my weary head down on my gazillion pillows that don’t seem right.  I keep adjusting them thinking maybe this time will do the trick. I fail again.  My mind wanders on my children far and near…here and in heaven.  How time can be so kind and how time can be so cruel.  Every moment unfolds in my mind as I try and recapture moments of time spent with loved ones that melt my soul to the core of my being.   Memories flood, as I miss my eldest son Christopher who died almost five years ago.  The pain is so real.  His birthday is May 18th.  I see my other children missing him, Rebeccah, Anthony  and Grace suffer the most. I sit and night these last few weeks while Tim and Grace are in the hospital and think about all these things. Sleep does elude me.  Grace says she talks to Chris and God and has no problem sleeping. Ahhh…out of the mouths of babes.

To be child like to have that innocence.  The pure bliss of not knowing what I know.

Raising eight children is amazing. I want more. I love children. Children just seem to make sense.  I cannot ever fathom not having a house filled to the brim.  Too see their eyes filled with hope and wonder…to see their passion for life. Too see the wonders of the world through their eyes…it takes my breath away…see this is what I think about when I am lying on my mounds of pillows.  3am comes quickly…I shut my eyes…put my arm out looking for my lover…he is with Gracie in Hershey, PA…I sleep until 6am and am running again.  Little Reignah is diabetic, lots of doctor appointments.  Kadi is 16, lots of Doctor appointments this week.  Beccah 12 foot surgery last week…follow up this week…my mom has two doctor appoinmets this week….I have 5 this week for myself.  I do them all.  Sleep still does not come easily.

I wonder how I do it sometimes? Am I a freak of nature?  Am I just strong in God? What makes me keep going through all of this?  I can still smile, still find humor and still find passion for life.   I know I am just rambling away but it does a mind good to just unload and I guess I just wanted to unload.

One of the most popular quotations of the 19th Century was, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Thousands of people everywhere used to recognize the health benefits of the apple in an age where there were no food pyramids, fad diets or nutritionists.

Apples are very easy on the digestive system; their high fiber content adds bulk that aids the digestive process making for a smooth elimination process . Another great thing about the apple is that it contains pectin, a form of soluble fiber that encourages the growth of good bacteria in the digestive tract. This also helps lead to a healthier colon! A medium apple has only 81 calories and a whopping 3.7 grams of fiber. It supplies 159 mg of potassium, 3.9 mcg of folic acid, 7.9 mg of vitamin C, and 9.6 mg of calcium! Apples also contain flavonoids and antioxidants that improve your immune system and help prevent heart disease and some cancers.

Today, medical practitioners are beginning to recognize that the apple’s abundant quantity of pectin is an aid in reducing high cholesterol, as well as blood sugar, making it a “wonder food” for people with coronary artery disease and diabetes.

If these aren’t enough reasons to eat “an apple a day,” there’s more! Check out the following links I dug up with some fascinating facts!

All About Apples
Pick Your Own

People across the United States and all around the world love apples! And my kiddos are definitely included among the apple mongers. We recently went berry picking here in New York, and we passed by the apple orchards. My kids went nuts! Remember, we are from Florida, the land of flat and dry, where nothing grows but citrus. We discovered that apples grow particularly well in the cooler northern states. Washington State is the leading apple-producing state (Go, Admin Lynette!), followed by Michigan (Yeah, Auntie Nora!), and New York; where we dwell now. (Yeah, baby we rock!)  We were so amazed by the smell and beauty of the trees, we wanted to go right that minute! We can hardly wait to go pick apples this fall!

I have taken a few days off but am trying to get back in the swing of things as my daughter Gracie is not so critical in the hospital right now.

So what has been going on in Apalachin, NY the last few day? Ha! Lots…I could just say some sleepless night but that is not as entertaining as talking about my 18th electrocution story.

Well, big rain storm decided to roll through add in a  big grey horse + big field then,  add back in the grey big horse stuck in mud + 40 MPH winds which = Chelle gets to go get horse out of mud.  See, right there I should of known what demise awaited me.  But being who I am…hence the  nickname “reckless”  I am who I am and take the challange on full force, mind you this is one handed as my wrist is in a cast… still.  So, I go to the corral boots on, rain down pouring, wind blowing, hail is mixed in, horse is freaking out.  I get to the horse and and give him a little shove and tap and he just bolts.  Then…Chelle loses balance, touches electric fence add that in with wet hands and you get full fledge ELECTROCUTION! I almost get a bath in copious amounts of mud because the wind is blowing, mud has this really incredible suction power and when you pull your feet out of it all while trying to get away from a spooked horse, well, let’s just say you lose your balance easily. My two older girls, Beccah and Kadi promptly demand I get in the house and tell me I am now grounded. They threaten to call dad who is Hershey, PA Children’s Hospital with Gracie.  I am not sure why but I knew they meant it and so I did it. I went in the house.  It is not often that your kids can ground you, but in this moment they had more wisdom than I did.  They knew I was over done, tired and when I get that way…accidents happen.

So for a few hours I had some tingles and numbness in my hand and my right leg and all seems well now.

I guess my lesson would be, it is better to fall in the mud and get dirty thnt to touch a fence with wet hands and get electrocuted.

Now what concerns me is that this has happened 18 times…I wonder if there is something in me that just attracts this? I mean 18 times I have been electrocuted…some very severe and some mid-level and some just enough to just say YIKES!   It is to the point that none on my kids will walk with me  when it it lightening out side??? Hmmm….

Yawn…wow…do you ever think that your body betrays you when it comes to sleep?  You know you need it but that mind keeps just going, going and going?  What the heck is up with that?  I am in bed some night thinking SLEEP…need sleep!  Finally sleep comes and low and behold…the dreaded whine of a dog is louder than an atomic bomb going off.  So I get up… meander down the steps…let them out.  Then wait. Finally, they want in.  Start the journey back up stairs to find myself  wide awake. No, no, no…I need sleep. This is so annoying.  I crave it…more than…(I cannot believe I am going to say this) CHOCOLATE!

Knowing the long day that is before me the next day my mind begins racing…now this manic thinking is starting over again!  Ack!   Turn on the boob tube to see  if I can just bore my self and end up finding some awesome movie that just sucks me in.  I guess that was another bad choice.  So, then I go make a hot tea…drink that curl up, find my self drifting into a wonderful sleep.  Some how it seems that time has been flying by…open my eyes in a panic thinking  I have over slept!  Oh, no…I did not over sleep, as a matter of a fact…it has only been about two hours.  Wow.

So, I am currently on a mission doing research on how to train my mind and body to listen to what it needs to function.  the funny thing is the more that I am taking care of the physical aspects…like going to the gym the more energy I have.  I wonder if all the stress is playing a part in my sleep patterns?  Maybe it is me missing the noise of Tim’s snoring?

So if you have any tips or any experience on how to get your mind to shut down t night leave me a message.  I am wiling at this time to see what works for others. Do not be shy..PLEASE help me with your comments!

What do you do when you feel like you have done everything you know to do and still find yourself in the same battle?  I know what you’re thinking, because I’m thinking the same thing.

Right now I am waiting to hear from my husband who is driving my daughter Grace to the hospital which is three hours away for a shunt  malfunction after surgery four days ago. She may have an infection which is so dangerous as her shunt goes to her heart.

She has had a shunt since birth and has had twenty-two surgeries.  So, back to my question; what is one to do when we feel like we keep going in circles in a certain situation? I honestly do not know. HOWEVER, I can tell you what I have learned and what works for me.  I cannot walk in fear.  Know matter what comes my way fear can’t be an option.  Yes, I am scared for my daughter and her health.  But it is not an unhealthy fear.  I am not so bound by this fear I cannot move and be productive.  I fight in prayer for her.  I reassure her she is strong, brave and courageous.  She knows this. I remind her of what a miracle she is and how she is going to touch the world.  That God loves her and she has done NOTHING wrong for this to happen.

Another thing I do is ask for help from friends.  Prayer works.  Whether you believe it or not.  Good thoughts, prayer, what ever you want to call it, I believe in it.

Sometimes we do not need to battle so hard.  Sometimes we need to just trust.  The battle has been won.  Sometimes we need to sit and bask in knowing that He is God and rest at His feet.  It is easier said then done.  I know this.  When it is your child your heart breaks in two.  You want to move heaven and hell to make it all stop for them, believe me I know! It does not even have to be a life threatening illness…it can be a child with ADHD and you can mourn over that.

As a parent we face so much with our children.  We never get instructions on how we should cope, feel, act and talk to them in any situations.  It is not possible to have an instruction booklet due to the fact that not one single child will ever fit one set of instructions.  Life should be that simple.  The only instruction I have that I have learned is a parent should NEVER have guilt.  Yes, you can be sorry, yes you will say you are sorry and yes, you will mess up…BUT you may never have guilt. If you have guilt and you keep that guilt you will destroy yourself and eventually you will hit a tailspin.  Guilt does nothing for you.  Guilt will get you nothing but depression and more guilt.  I have been there and done that too.

Tonight I sit here and I was on the verge of the guilt trip…I was thinking: should I have let Grace do this?  Or that or… and on and on and on…until I realized what I was doing.  I had to stop myself and say out loud “NO”  I nipped it as soon as I realizes what I was doing.  By doing this I was able to calmly talk with Grace who was in hysterics about leaving home again.  Sobbing over the thought of leaving mommy.  Sobbing over the thought of IV’s and shunt taps.  Sobbing over missing her family.  I was able to have her at peace and smiling before we packed her up with daddy on her way.  Mission accomplished.

THEN, I went in the house…cried for my darling Gracie and pulled it together and cooked dinner and got all my kids settled and calmed down.  Reignah and Beccah were a mess.  Once we were all settled I reassured everyone that we need to pray.  Everyone is now sleeping except the two oldest.  Everyone is resting.

So remember breath…it is hard to remain calm, focused in the time of craziness.  I am sure I am going to read my own blog here a million times in the next few days.  You might even see a comment from me to me, lol