Womens-Place

Moms of Angels

May is a wonderful month; we are reminded of the “new life” that comes forth as we are thrust into spring. With holidays such as Mother’s Day approaching, I would like to share some suggestions of how to help those who are grieving the loss of a child. Whether or not you have lost a child to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillborn, or a live birth then a child’s death; Mother’s Day can be particularly difficult for these moms. Some moms find themselves with a void or hole in their heart everyday; the tragedy of losing a child is one that never really seems to heal. On these special days when the “identity” of being a parent/mom is so significant, the pain these moms feel can be multiplied leading her to more bereavement. More isolation. More sadness.

Our society forgets the fact there are women out in the world that have suffered great losses such as the loss of a child. Flower shops, card shops and other retail establishments are filled with Mother’s Day gifts and gift ideas. It is hard to find a place that carries a card that acknowledges these women who have had a short time with their little ones, that they are in every sense of the word a “mother.” Newspaper, radio and television advertisements help you “shop for that perfect something.” Church services are about honoring our mothers on this special day. The very sad truth to all of this is we leave some of these moms in our community, circle of friends and church bodies devastated.

Do you know someone who has lost a child to death? Are you uncomfortable thinking about them on this special day? Do you think that these mothers are not thinking of their son or daughter that have left this world? Do you think if you remind the mother of her precious child, who will be part of her heart and soul forever, that you will make her sad?

Would you like to help these mothers?

I can promise you they will be thinking of their child that has passed on. I can also guarantee you that mentioning this child to them or giving a hug and a whisper of “Happy Mother’s Day” in their ear will only bring them tears of joy, as finally someone remembers their little one who is not here with them. I can also guarantee letting them know you remember her identity as a mom of that sweet little one who died, and that you remember her child, for her, you just gave her another day worth living for.  This not only applies to a small child as well but to an older child that has passed on as well. We lost out oldest son Christopher Michael on June 10, 2005. I cannot tell you what it means to me when someone remembers my son.  Just think of the simple things you can do for someone and do them.  Do not fear of bringing back a bad memory.  Just think of how hearing the name of their beloved child will soothe the depths of their soul.

I have suffered 12 miscarriages and 1 ectopic pregnancy. Having someone remember these little babes that are no longer here with me means the world to me as their mom. Just because I cannot hold them, watch them grow or guide them through life does not erase the fact that I am a mother to them. So as this Mother’s Day approaches, please take time to reflect and remember these moms with a card, phone call, kind word or small gift. It will mean the world to them and it may just bring forth the healing they have been so desperately searching for.

~Chelle is the owner of Womens-Place, a proud Mother of eight beautiful children and fourteen beautiful angels, She is also a loving wife to her talented, and pretty darn cute, hubby, Tim. The boards are her passion, and she proves it daily with her inspirational posts and wonderful advice. She looks forward to spending this Mother’s Day loving and thinking about all her children.

Honor Thy Mother

Mother’s Day is fast approaching, and I’m sure we’ve all got plans to run out and get a card and/or small gift for the woman who gave us life. But have you stopped to think about how people pay tribute to Mothers in other parts of the world?

The following article was taken from India Times: Spirituality. Because it had such excellent information about how Mothers are celebrated elsewhere, I did not want to lessen it by trying to paraphrase, so here it is in full:

Festivals In Honour Of Mothers While Mother’s Day is the most important international festival celebrated in honour of mothers, there are several other festivals that celebrate the mother figure. Here are a few of them:

The people of ancient Phrygiain Asia Minor held an annual festival honouring the goddess Cybele, considered the mother of all gods.
The Greeks celebrated a festival in spring to honour the goddess Rhea. They made offering of food and fruits early in the morning.
The festival of Hilaria was celebrated from March 15 to March 18 by ancient Romans to venerate the mother of gods, Magna Mater or Great Mother. Likewise, the Romans had a mother of all the gods, and she was Magna Mater, or Great Mother.
The Christians celebrated a festival in honour of the ‘Mother Church’ on the fourth Sunday in Lent by bringing gifts and offerings to the church they were baptised in.
During the Middle Ages, people in England celebrated ‘Mothering Sunday’ that coincided with the festival of Mother Church. On this day, children who worked far from home went to see their mothers with gifts of cakes and trinkets. This was called going ‘a-mothering’.
Both Argentina and India observe Mother’s Day in October. In Argentina, mothers are honored on the second Sunday of the month, while Hindus in India celebrate Mother’s Day with a ten-day festival in early October. This festival is called Durga Puja in honour of Durga, the Divine Mother and most important Hindu goddess in India.
Serbians in parts of Yugoslavia also celebrate Mother’s Day, called ‘Materice’, in December. Two weeks before Christmas, boys and girls quietly ‘tie’ their mother up while she is still sleeping. Upon awakening, she gives the children small gifts she has hidden under her pillow in exchange for her ‘release’.

A newer celebration of and for Moms by Moms is Mamapalooza, “for Moms who rock!” It is a festival that showcases Moms and their creativity through song, art, poetry, dance and various other imaginative endeavors. According to their site, “MAMAPALOOZA is dedicated to honoring, celebrating and acknowledging the struggles and victories of mothers everywhere.” If the festival is coming to an area near you, I would highly recommend going. What an awesome sight it must be to be amongst others like yourself rejoicing in our role as Mom.

For those of you looking to do something a little more subdued and traditional, you can always check your local paper for Mother’s Day events such as brunches, teas or fairs. No matter what you decide to do, make Mother’s Day the best day you can, and enjoy it for yourself as a woman. Every woman in the world is an important part of life, and we all deserve this day for ourselves. Even those without children are Mother’s in their heart, so celebrate Mother’s Day for every woman everywhere!

Host Julie is the Mother of two boys, and she is thankful every day for the opportunity to watch them grow. Being a Mom is the job of a lifetime, and she hopes she is living up to the title “Mother” in the eyes of every woman.

May is both National Salad and National Hamburger Month. What a perfect month to celebrate these two foods as the weather heats up in most of the country and people start looking towards grilled foods and cooler side dishes. Also with Memorial Day as the kick-off weekend for many people to begin grilling, it’s great timing for salad and burger tips and new recipes for both.

Several theories surround the beginning of the hamburger. During the Middle Ages, the warriors would carry patties of ground lamb or mutton that they could eat with one hand while handling their horse with the other. Beginning in the 1400’s, eating minced meat became a delicacy. The chopped or ground meat would be eaten raw and called steak tartare. The most common theory is that the sandwich originated from Hamburg, Germany, where they ate salted, dried beef on a roll. The immigrants brought this favorite food to the United States because the dried beef was ideal for keeping on the long sea voyage. The beef was quite hard, so in order to eat it they would mince it, then sometimes add soaked breadcrumbs and chopped onion to make it stretch farther. Since this was such a favorite food, they continued to make the “Hamburg steak” once living in the United States, but began to make it with fresh meat instead of the previously dried.

Today’s burgers have been come a long, long way thanks in big part to fast food restaurants such as McDonald’s, White Castle and Wendy’s. They can be served plain with just the burger and the bun or with the works. There are also many variations available for the non-beef eater; you can enjoy ground turkey, ground chicken or even ground lamb. However you like your burger, most hamburger lovers would agree that the best burger is served straight off the grill. A good choice for the basic burger is made with 80% lean ground chuck seasoned with salt and ground pepper. Shape into patties ¾-inch thick and grill directly over medium heat until desired doneness, turning only once. Serve immediately on toasted buns with your favorite condiments and vegetables.

Some delicious burger recipes to try this summer:
Hometown Burgers
Bold ‘n’ Saucy Cheeseburger
Bobby Flay’s Green Chile Cheeseburgers
Cuban-style Burgers on the Grill – another Bobby Flay specialty
Garden Turkey Burgers
Vegetable Lover’s Burger – for the veggies in the crowd

Although, a burger is a delicious main entrée in a meal, it cries out for the perfect side. During the hot spring and summer months, nothing accompanies a meal better than a scrumptious cold salad. Salads can be all vegetables, or mainly pasta with a few vegetables thrown in, or they can be made entirely of fruit. The sky is truly the limit when it comes to salad. No matter how you toss it, salads are ideal dishes that can be made ahead and then pulled out of the refrigerator or cooler when dinner is served. Since many salads use mayonnaise or other similar bases, make sure to follow food safety guidelines for storage and handling.

A sampling of simply scrumptious salad recipes from the W-P Cookbook…
Admin Tisha’s Black Bean and Corn Salad
Larisa’s Broccoli Salad
Admin Lynette’s Asian Asparagus Salad
KeeMacMom’s Crisp Cucumber and Melon Chicken Salad
Host Michelle’s Bok Choy and Tomato Salad
Admin Lynette’s Summer Fruit Combo

As the weather heats up and you feel like you just might melt, your menu is going to cry out for a delicious grilled burger and a salad. Grab a tall glass of iced tea and give one of these yummy recipes a try. Your family will thank you for serving burgers and maybe, just maybe, they won’t complain about the big bowl of broccoli salad for them to eat with it.

Host Lynette is a wife, mom, food lover and amateur chauffeur from the Pacific Northwest. She loves to cook and summertime is one of her favorite times to create in the kitchen with all the fresh fruits and vegetables. She is also the preferred griller in the family as the kids just aren’t fans of the “blackened” items dad likes to cook.

My dad is one of the best gardeners I know. He takes huge pride in his vegetable gardens and flowers beds. I was raised eating the freshest vegetables and fruits that we had grown ourselves. I, also, always had the luxury of being able to pick giant bouquets filled with many different kinds of flowers. My dad’s love of gardening was definitely passed along to me. Unfortunately, I did not inherit all of his “green” thumb. Mine is really more of a brownish shade with an occasional green fleck. Over the years I have been able to glean a lot of helpful information from my dad and morph that into my own smaller scale style. I have learned that, with just a little work and a few handy hints, gardening doesn’t have to be laborious. It can actually be fun and quite easy.

1. Make a plan on paper first. Using a pencil, draw a sketched layout of your front, back and side yards. Draw in existing beds and any other features in your yard, such as sheds, play structures, etc. Make notes about what plants you already have and draw them into your map. Also, feel free to put your dream ideas for the future down. It never hurts to write those ideas down for “someday,” but if you have a shortage of time and energy then focus on the areas of your yard that are most visible to you and to others. If you start small you can focus on those beautiful areas of your yard, and they will help distract you from the ones you don’t like as well.

2. Determine the sun exposure for all the areas of your yard. Spend a couple days paying close attention to which areas of your yard get full sun, which get sun in the morning or afternoon and are shaded other parts of the day and which areas do not ever seem to emerge out of the shadows. This will make a huge difference in determining where you should plan your gardens and also what you will plant in those different gardens. Vegetable gardens need to be in a sunny location that receives at least 8 hours a day of sunlight. It will save you a huge amount of time and money in the long run, if you do this step now. There is nothing more frustrating than forking out the bucks for a beautiful plant, taking the time to care for it properly, and then having it die anyway because it was a shade loving plant that was withering in the full sun.

3. Be sure you have the correct tools. You will need a soaker hose, hoe, shovel, hand trowel, gardening gloves, fertilizer, old clothes/shoes and for me, a portable stereo tuned to a baseball game or a stack of CD’s for listening. I enjoy my work outside so much more when I am prepared and when I can sing along to a favorite song or cheer on my beloved Mariner’s. I find Home Depotand Lowe’s perfect places for purchasing outdoor tools. They have good quality tools for much less than the price you will find at garden stores. There is also a Home Depot Canada for our friends in the northern part of the region.

4. Prepare your soil first. Make sure you have your beds prepped and ready to go before you venture off to the garden supply store to buy plants or seeds. Once your beds are ready, then you can make just one trip to the store. Also, you may find while working your soil that it needs some beefing up. You can purchase compost or additional fertilizer while you’re there.

5. Determine which plants are correct for your zone. Not all plants are created equal. Plants of the succulent variety are going to flourish in the southwest with its intense heat, where the hale and hearty cruciferous vegetables are much more comfortable in the deep, rich soils of the north that are warmed by the spring sun. To determine which plants will thrive in your area, click on virtual Library for Gardening. There are international, as well as, regional US sites that will help you out.

6. Plant when the time is right. For most of North America, the perfect planting season is right now – springtime. Once the danger of frost has passed, the warmer spring temperatures, accompanied by the spring rain are perfect planting times. It also gives the plants a full growing season to get their roots deep into the ground before winter arrives once again. According to Garden Place.com, the second best time to plant it in autumn before the freezing temperatures hit. If you find yourself wanting to plant during the summer months, choose a cloudy day or plant during a spell of cloudy weather. This will help the young, tender plants so they do not wither in the intense heat.

7. Perennials are your friends. One rule of thumb I have tried to subscribe to in my garden beds is the use of perennials. Although they cost a bit more at the outlay, they take the same amount of time to plant and they will return year after year. The work you did this year, you will not have to repeat next year and can use that time to plant another bed or to spruce up the ones you have.

8. Buy quality One gardening tip that my dad absolutely swears by is purchasing hybrid seeds. They cost only a fraction more, but are so worth it in the end with the quality vegetable or fruit you end up with. I remember all the many seed catalogs that began to arrive in January and how much fun it was to look at all the luscious vegetables pictured on the pages. Although many, many catalogs make their way to his house, he is a long time purchaser of seeds from both Burpee’s Seeds and Plants and Jung’s Quality Seeds, and he recommends both to everyone that asks him about his gardens.

9. Plan your vegetables and flowers, so they will come up in succession. This will keep the harvest flowing from early spring to late fall. Find out the dates in advance and schedule time to plant accordingly. If you are planting a vegetable garden, try peas, spinach and radishes for early spring planting, tomatoes, peppers and summer squash for the summer months, and delicious broccoli will thrive in an early fall harvest. Try a similar pattern with your flowers. Bulbs are perfect to plant in the late fall for early spring color and in the spring, you can plant bulbs for fall color. Take a look at the different perennials in the store and select ones that will peak at differing times, keeping the beauty in your beds throughout the season.

10. Spend an hour or two each week in upkeep. Once everything is planted, you will need to maintain all that hard work by keeping up with the watering, fertilizing, thinning and weeding. By keeping your plants healthy and away from crowding, you will go a long way to warding off needless pests and bugs. Watering is a daily or sometimes twice daily chore. While you are giving your plants a healthy drink, look them over. Pluck any dead leaves or visible bugs, and make mental notes if a particular kind of plant is doing exceptionally well or exceptionally poorly. These notes you can later write down on your yard map for future use.

Gardening is both rewarding and relaxing for people of all ages. It is one of those topics that can cross all generations and will give you something to talk about with your little kids, as well as your grandmother. My hope was that these tips would help make gardening for the inexperienced gardener a little less overwhelming. Gardening is truly about enjoying what nature has to offer, so don those gloves and boots and head on out. The soil is calling you.

For additional gardening links I recommend the following … Garden Web, Organic Gardening, Kid Gardening, Womens-Place Gardening Forum and Better Homes & Gardens.

Check out the Top Must Have Gardening Gadgets and Things!

Lynette is a wife and full time mom of 4 from the Pacific Northwest. After much convincing from her older son, she planted a small garden last year. Since her sons had such a wonderful time tending the garden and picking the harvest, she will definitely be planting again this year.

Today I have a guest who is a fabulous writer and friend.  Her name is Deanna, but we all love to call her “Deek” she is an amazing woman, friend, mom and wife!  I am sure you will see her here a lot (especially if I have anything to do with it)  Below is her blog…please be encouraged to leave a comment below, it is quite simple to do!

The House is Too Quiet

I can remember the date; December 20, 1998. My husband rocked my world. The words he spoke were “Let’s adopt.” Life has never been the same.

My husband and I were married in 1985. In 1987 our son came along. He was a wonderful child and my son and I were and are incredibly close. We tried for additional children but none appeared. Would we spend the rest of our married lives as a single child household?

When our son turned the age of 12 I “freaked out”. Suddenly my house was too quiet. I mean really quiet. My husband worked afternoons or midnights and my son had the nerve to get a life and hang out with his friends. I found myself home alone all the time. I became obsessed with having a quiet and clean house. I didn’t want anyone to come visit as it could mess up my orderly and dull existence. I was becoming an old maid with a 12 year old son and a husband. Something major had to change. That was when my husband spoke those famous words. Our son was sure it would be a passing thought and that we would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS follow through. I on the other hand had a new project to sink my teeth into and took on the task in earnest. I turned to my favorite source of outside information – the Internet.

I spent the next week on the Internet starting with www.precious.org. I filled out a questionnaire and based on my answers I found the country we were most suited for was Russia. This was wild! In our heads as we assumed our daughter(s) were in China. Who knows why? Just had a feeling. Soon after we were matched with an agency and the adoption whirlwind began. We were now at December 29, 1998.

At this time in our lives we learned what “leap of faith” truly meant. We were literally sending thousands of dollars to an agency that we could not see and had not even spoken to on the phone for an event that was going to change our life. We went on blind faith and crossed our fingers. What were we thinking? Zillions of emails and thousands of dollars later we finally got a real phone call telling us about our daughters. They were two and four and biological sisters. Did we feel they were ours? We knew practically nothing about them and had to make a decision within 12 hours. How crazy is that? We said yes.

We traveled to Russia on July 10, 1999. In less than seven months our “pregnancy” was complete and we had our daughters. The trip was amazing, confusing, terrifying, fun, exciting and life altering.

Our daughters have been with us now for almost 11 years. I would be a big fat liar if I said those were the most joyful and pleasant years ever. I would also lie if I said I didn’t occasionally question that long ago decision. Of course those moments are usually when there is a screaming match going on or I have yet another missing item of makeup, hair brush, bad grades, etc. But bottom line is these are definitely our daughters and it just took some extra time to figure where God put them and go get them.

Our son is now 23. Our daughters are 15, 12 and 8. People often give us that look. Trying to do the math. I will tell you honestly that my husband looks older than he is and I look younger. It is confusing. My husband likes to explain it by saying “same wife, bad planning.” Funny guy that one is. My son still likes to call it “the day we ruined his life”. He is funny too.

All good stories need to end on an amusing note. Ours does. When our daughters had been home for exactly one year I became pregnant. I know the exact day I became pregnant and I am telling you it was one year to the day that our daughters became ours. I figure that was God’s way of having the last laugh.