Womens-Place

So many of us can remember the day when our eyes first made contact with our soul mates; our hearts skipped some beats, butterflies were birthed into our bellies and our breath became shallow. Our powerful emotions of this one experience brought our surging hormones to the peak of no return. It did not take any planning nor feel like work to keep the passion burning, and our interest in one another thriving. Those were the days…

Unfortunately, everyday life is still happening, and we are in the midst of the routines that take over our attention. Romance gets diverted and thing go awry. We tend to pay too much attention to the needs of the outside world, and not enough energy is left over to feed the needs of our intimate relationship with our mates. We begin to feel starved and distant. Before we know it, we may feel miles apart emotionally from one another. Ahhhh…but wait! Dr. Passionate is in the house to turn your love life around. (that would be me!)

This is a simple truth: a relationship is like an account at the bank. You must make deposits into this account to keep it in good standing. If you take and do not replenish the account things will begin to bounce, and your account will no longer be in good standing. You end up paying fees that could have been averted by a little balancing of the books, a little investment and a little effort of making a deposit.

How Do I Love Thee…
It is the little things that we do or say that mean a lot. Let’s face it, everybody wants to hear and know that he or she is loved. It is important to regularly tell your partner that you love him or her through your actions and your words. Here are a few ideas:

~A love note left on your partner’s pillow, or stuck in his/her purse, briefcase or in the book they are reading.
~A card sent for no reason at all.
~Bring home a special treat that you know they love.
~A call during the day, or a message left on the voice mail, just to say, “I’m thinking about you.”
~A secret signal that says, “I love you!,” only the two of you know.
~Always kiss one other hello and goodbye.

~A secret flash of the unexpected body part can make a sizzling sound to your lovers ears only he or she can hear

Be Generous With Praise
Whatever you focus your attention on grows. Praising the positive and acknowledging what is good in each other and in your relationship, has positive effects on both of you and on your relationship. When you respond to the efforts that your lover is making, and you recognize that they are wooing you, say thank you and express your gratitude. What this does is help you help your partner feel recognized and appreciated. In turn, this will let you receive what is being given to you on a deeper level.

~Smile or wink at your lover from across the room.
~Script a “Why I love you page,” tie it with a ribbon and give it to your partner, or better yet frame it.
~Talk together for ten minutes every morning before getting out of bed or every evening before going to sleep. Spend that time telling one another what you appreciate about each other.
~Thank your partner for something everyday.
~Tell them how sexy they are.

Communicate and Connect
Communicating with one other is one of the main tools to keep the foundation of your relationship strong. It is how we extend ourselves and let our partner know who we are, what we need and how we feel. It is so important for your relationship to have an open line of communication where each person can safely express himself or herself without fear of rejection or judgments. Mutual respect, trust and understanding come from our willingness to tell the truth and allow our partner to do the same. It is one thing to attack with truth, but it is another to lovingly express your hurts and needs with out belittling your lover.

One thing that I have found that works for my lover and I is we have a place in our master bathroom with a journal-type notebook and a pen. Sometimes we leave love notes, sometimes we discuss things that are worrying us, and sometimes we work out our differences on paper and respond to one another that way. This tends to allow more communication to come forth without having to be face-to-face as there are times it is best to not have to do that, or sometimes there just is not enough time in the day to “talk” it out. Whatever you choose, remember do unto others as you would want back in return.

I’m in the Mood for Love…
Hugging: I have found that hugging is good for your health and well-being. Hugging can lift depression and breathe life into a tired spirit and body. Touching and being touched helps us to thrive. It takes little time to open our arms to one another with huge benefits. What a great way to strengthen your ability to give and receive affection.

Seal it With A Kiss: Kisses are a delightful loving embrace of the lips. Powerful, but yet wordlessly they say many things: “Welcome home,” “I cherish you,” “I’m yours,” “I’m sorry,” ” I’m here for you,” “I want you,” “ I need you,” “Make love to me.” A kiss can lift the level of the moment from barren and ordinary to extraordinary. So kiss and be kissed regularly, you will love what it may lead to.

Create Intimate Time: Before rushing out the door in a frenzy, get up earlier than needed with your partner and have breakfast in bed, read an inspirational passage aloud, hold each other and whisper sweet nothings into each others ears, go for an early walk, give each other a massage, make love or take a shower together. Make a new rule that when your lover walks in the door you both walk to each other and embrace and kiss for at least 30 seconds. Watch how this affects the atmosphere of your home.

Fun, Hot & Sexy – Doing the Unexpected: Learn something new together. Once a month try a new and different activity–something you normally would not do. Go ice-skating, take a salsa lesson, rent roller blades, go for a full-moon hike, or stay in a hotel in your city and be a tourist. It’s amazing what getting out of the routine will do. Here are some additional thoughts and suggestions….

~Flash him!~ When no one’s looking, give your man a sneak peak in public. This will send his heart rate up quite a bit.
~Write him a sexy check.~ While you’re taking care of the bills, take care of your guy with a personal payment for a hot time in the bedroom, or you can specifically state what it is for. Tell him he can deposit that check and the bank will make good of it.
~Pick a hot spot.~ Make out every time you’re alone in an elevator.
~Artistic expressions~ Paint each other’s bodies with edible paints. (Oh yeah!) Or improvise with something from the refrigerator like chocolate syrup or whipped cream. Melt some butter and use some sugar and cinnamon for a tasty treat. You ever wonder what you could do with the leftover Sour Patch sugar? How about those gummy bears…if you lick they stick…
~Teasingly explore~ Blindfold your partner and focus on different sensations (feathers, ice, oils, etc.).
~Mood enhancers~ Set the mood with candles, music, dim lights, perhaps some wine. Take some time to cherish what you have.
~Creative fun~ Plan a sexual adventure, a surprise night where each must come prepared with a sexual adventure for the other. (Be sure to bring all the necessary props and tools). Go crazy, be creative, have a little fun.
~Sneak peek~ Wear sexy lingerie under your clothes, then, go out to dinner and flash your partner with teasing little peeks of what awaits him for “dessert.”
~Straight forward~ Leave a naked picture of yourself in your partner’s briefcase or wallet to ensure that at some point in the day they’ll get a hot little surprise.
~Intensity~ Maintain eye contact while making love and especially during orgasm. This enhances both intimacy and intensity.
~Get daring~ Pick a new spot to make love in – be adventurous! Look around the house, garage and home gym.
~Cook together~ Watch a gourmet cooking show, and then cook the meal together. If the house is empty, cook naked.
~Picnic~ Go on a picnic and watch the sunset, if secluded, make love. If not, make love anyway.
~Memories~ Celebrate your anniversary more than once a year. For example, celebrate your 1000th day together, or any of your firsts, such as the first day you made love, or the day you started living together, or the day you first said, “I love you.”

What ever you do always remember the key to making a relationship work is communication with dedication. Decide right here, right now, that from this day forward you will do what it takes to make your relationship turn from a small spark to a roaring bonfire. Passion is only an action away.

~I am the passionate owner of Womens-Place. I believes in molten hot, love and keeps that fire roaring daily with the love of my life, Tim. I hope you all have a romance filled day and keep the romance alive everyday for the rest of your life.

One of the most popular quotations of the 19th Century was, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Thousands of people everywhere used to recognize the health benefits of the apple in an age where there were no food pyramids, fad diets or nutritionists.

Apples are very easy on the digestive system; their high fiber content adds bulk that aids the digestive process making for a smooth elimination process . Another great thing about the apple is that it contains pectin, a form of soluble fiber that encourages the growth of good bacteria in the digestive tract. This also helps lead to a healthier colon! A medium apple has only 81 calories and a whopping 3.7 grams of fiber. It supplies 159 mg of potassium, 3.9 mcg of folic acid, 7.9 mg of vitamin C, and 9.6 mg of calcium! Apples also contain flavonoids and antioxidants that improve your immune system and help prevent heart disease and some cancers.

Today, medical practitioners are beginning to recognize that the apple’s abundant quantity of pectin is an aid in reducing high cholesterol, as well as blood sugar, making it a “wonder food” for people with coronary artery disease and diabetes.

If these aren’t enough reasons to eat “an apple a day,” there’s more! Check out the following links I dug up with some fascinating facts!

All About Apples
Pick Your Own

People across the United States and all around the world love apples! And my kiddos are definitely included among the apple mongers. We recently went berry picking here in New York, and we passed by the apple orchards. My kids went nuts! Remember, we are from Florida, the land of flat and dry, where nothing grows but citrus. We discovered that apples grow particularly well in the cooler northern states. Washington State is the leading apple-producing state (Go, Admin Lynette!), followed by Michigan (Yeah, Auntie Nora!), and New York; where we dwell now. (Yeah, baby we rock!)  We were so amazed by the smell and beauty of the trees, we wanted to go right that minute! We can hardly wait to go pick apples this fall!

I have taken a few days off but am trying to get back in the swing of things as my daughter Gracie is not so critical in the hospital right now.

So what has been going on in Apalachin, NY the last few day? Ha! Lots…I could just say some sleepless night but that is not as entertaining as talking about my 18th electrocution story.

Well, big rain storm decided to roll through add in a  big grey horse + big field then,  add back in the grey big horse stuck in mud + 40 MPH winds which = Chelle gets to go get horse out of mud.  See, right there I should of known what demise awaited me.  But being who I am…hence the  nickname “reckless”  I am who I am and take the challange on full force, mind you this is one handed as my wrist is in a cast… still.  So, I go to the corral boots on, rain down pouring, wind blowing, hail is mixed in, horse is freaking out.  I get to the horse and and give him a little shove and tap and he just bolts.  Then…Chelle loses balance, touches electric fence add that in with wet hands and you get full fledge ELECTROCUTION! I almost get a bath in copious amounts of mud because the wind is blowing, mud has this really incredible suction power and when you pull your feet out of it all while trying to get away from a spooked horse, well, let’s just say you lose your balance easily. My two older girls, Beccah and Kadi promptly demand I get in the house and tell me I am now grounded. They threaten to call dad who is Hershey, PA Children’s Hospital with Gracie.  I am not sure why but I knew they meant it and so I did it. I went in the house.  It is not often that your kids can ground you, but in this moment they had more wisdom than I did.  They knew I was over done, tired and when I get that way…accidents happen.

So for a few hours I had some tingles and numbness in my hand and my right leg and all seems well now.

I guess my lesson would be, it is better to fall in the mud and get dirty thnt to touch a fence with wet hands and get electrocuted.

Now what concerns me is that this has happened 18 times…I wonder if there is something in me that just attracts this? I mean 18 times I have been electrocuted…some very severe and some mid-level and some just enough to just say YIKES!   It is to the point that none on my kids will walk with me  when it it lightening out side??? Hmmm….

Yawn…wow…do you ever think that your body betrays you when it comes to sleep?  You know you need it but that mind keeps just going, going and going?  What the heck is up with that?  I am in bed some night thinking SLEEP…need sleep!  Finally sleep comes and low and behold…the dreaded whine of a dog is louder than an atomic bomb going off.  So I get up… meander down the steps…let them out.  Then wait. Finally, they want in.  Start the journey back up stairs to find myself  wide awake. No, no, no…I need sleep. This is so annoying.  I crave it…more than…(I cannot believe I am going to say this) CHOCOLATE!

Knowing the long day that is before me the next day my mind begins racing…now this manic thinking is starting over again!  Ack!   Turn on the boob tube to see  if I can just bore my self and end up finding some awesome movie that just sucks me in.  I guess that was another bad choice.  So, then I go make a hot tea…drink that curl up, find my self drifting into a wonderful sleep.  Some how it seems that time has been flying by…open my eyes in a panic thinking  I have over slept!  Oh, no…I did not over sleep, as a matter of a fact…it has only been about two hours.  Wow.

So, I am currently on a mission doing research on how to train my mind and body to listen to what it needs to function.  the funny thing is the more that I am taking care of the physical aspects…like going to the gym the more energy I have.  I wonder if all the stress is playing a part in my sleep patterns?  Maybe it is me missing the noise of Tim’s snoring?

So if you have any tips or any experience on how to get your mind to shut down t night leave me a message.  I am wiling at this time to see what works for others. Do not be shy..PLEASE help me with your comments!

What do you do when you feel like you have done everything you know to do and still find yourself in the same battle?  I know what you’re thinking, because I’m thinking the same thing.

Right now I am waiting to hear from my husband who is driving my daughter Grace to the hospital which is three hours away for a shunt  malfunction after surgery four days ago. She may have an infection which is so dangerous as her shunt goes to her heart.

She has had a shunt since birth and has had twenty-two surgeries.  So, back to my question; what is one to do when we feel like we keep going in circles in a certain situation? I honestly do not know. HOWEVER, I can tell you what I have learned and what works for me.  I cannot walk in fear.  Know matter what comes my way fear can’t be an option.  Yes, I am scared for my daughter and her health.  But it is not an unhealthy fear.  I am not so bound by this fear I cannot move and be productive.  I fight in prayer for her.  I reassure her she is strong, brave and courageous.  She knows this. I remind her of what a miracle she is and how she is going to touch the world.  That God loves her and she has done NOTHING wrong for this to happen.

Another thing I do is ask for help from friends.  Prayer works.  Whether you believe it or not.  Good thoughts, prayer, what ever you want to call it, I believe in it.

Sometimes we do not need to battle so hard.  Sometimes we need to just trust.  The battle has been won.  Sometimes we need to sit and bask in knowing that He is God and rest at His feet.  It is easier said then done.  I know this.  When it is your child your heart breaks in two.  You want to move heaven and hell to make it all stop for them, believe me I know! It does not even have to be a life threatening illness…it can be a child with ADHD and you can mourn over that.

As a parent we face so much with our children.  We never get instructions on how we should cope, feel, act and talk to them in any situations.  It is not possible to have an instruction booklet due to the fact that not one single child will ever fit one set of instructions.  Life should be that simple.  The only instruction I have that I have learned is a parent should NEVER have guilt.  Yes, you can be sorry, yes you will say you are sorry and yes, you will mess up…BUT you may never have guilt. If you have guilt and you keep that guilt you will destroy yourself and eventually you will hit a tailspin.  Guilt does nothing for you.  Guilt will get you nothing but depression and more guilt.  I have been there and done that too.

Tonight I sit here and I was on the verge of the guilt trip…I was thinking: should I have let Grace do this?  Or that or… and on and on and on…until I realized what I was doing.  I had to stop myself and say out loud “NO”  I nipped it as soon as I realizes what I was doing.  By doing this I was able to calmly talk with Grace who was in hysterics about leaving home again.  Sobbing over the thought of leaving mommy.  Sobbing over the thought of IV’s and shunt taps.  Sobbing over missing her family.  I was able to have her at peace and smiling before we packed her up with daddy on her way.  Mission accomplished.

THEN, I went in the house…cried for my darling Gracie and pulled it together and cooked dinner and got all my kids settled and calmed down.  Reignah and Beccah were a mess.  Once we were all settled I reassured everyone that we need to pray.  Everyone is now sleeping except the two oldest.  Everyone is resting.

So remember breath…it is hard to remain calm, focused in the time of craziness.  I am sure I am going to read my own blog here a million times in the next few days.  You might even see a comment from me to me, lol

I sit here tonight just reflecting on life in the past few years that Womens-Place has been up and running.  I think about how many women have been a part of our home on the web.  I remember when I first got the notion to start W-P.  My husband was so supportive.  He help me from the get go.  He knew I was very passionate about creating a place for women to just come and have a place to be who they needed to be.  With the help of a wonderful editorial team which you can read about on the blog under About W-P Admins and W-P: A Story About Us. These two links will let you know how we came to be.  Please visit them and read about some of the amazing women who have blessed my life beyond my wildest dreams!

I think what I want to convey, is the depth of the relationships I have formed at W-P.  Even though it is the “web” relationships are birth and we have formed bonds stronger than some in real life friendships.   Some of these friendships have led some of us to get together in real life and spend days together more than once.  Not just the women but our whole families.  Our web site has formed strong bonds that I am thankful for.

In times of tragedy my website reached out to me when my son died 5 years ago in May, at the age of sixteen.  They went above and beyond to carry me and my family for a long time.  They took over the website and ran it until I could emotionally handle the load again. Not only do they reach out in the time of devastation…but also in the time in joy!  This just does not apply to me but to our whole community. It is like when one of us is hurting we all hurt. When one is rejoicing we all rejoice.

Womens-Place has been also able to help other women by raising money to help moms go back to school.  We have raised money within our own community and then gave a scholarship to a woman in need.  We take pride in making sure that our site is doing something to help other women make a mark in their part of the world!  It is important to make a mark in the world!  What better way than to help someone reach for her dream!

If you have not checked us out or spent much time on W-P, I encourage you to join us and let us leave a mark on your heart.  You will not regret it.

I am thankful to all the women who have touch my life in many ways. I can never thank you all enough. I was reading through some older posts and was sitting there with tears in my eyes as I read them.    This is what prompted me to write this blog tonight.

I would like to leave you with the following quote below:

He has taken his bright candle into another room I cannot find, but anyone can tell where he has been by all the little lights he left behind.”

Unknown

When my daughter Reignah Joy was born she came out screaming…she was this little peanut, just gorgeous; with great big lungs.   I remember the day like it was yesterday.  When we had to stay a few days in the hospital with her birth-mother Reignah was such a quiet content baby. She laid on Tim’s chest so peacefully. I remember thinking she was going to be quiet and a lot like Tim.

Fast forward a few years.  Reignah Joy starts talking…the more she learns to talk the more I realize she is not a quiet child and not like Tim at all.  Yes, she has a very tender spirit which is so true of her daddy.  However, she is a full blown spunky, sure of herself, tells you like it is and holds nothing back, honest, rock-on kind of kid.

My birthday was in January and Reignah Joy asked me how old I was.  Being the way cool mom that I am and being a bit naughty and, well… bad… said thirty.  (yes, I lied) I am actually forty-one, Reignah Joy actually exclaimed I was smoking hot. Woah…I like  this kid.  She seems to have a fetish with this. So she goes to Tim and asks him how old he is and he says thirty-seven. (this is the truth) Men are so honest about this age stuff.  She calls him an old man. Gosh I am now loving her to the moon and back now.

This age questioning is now carrying over to the bus driver Mrs. Patterson.  The other day she told Mrs “P” my mom is thirty and she is smoking hot.  Well first off, Mrs “P” knows I am NOT thirty and she knows Reignah Joy is spunky and has been known to break out into a wild dance hip-hop routine in the morning for all the kids on the bus to pump things up and get the ride to school started.  So after multiple days of Reignah telling the bus driver my mom is hot, Mrs. Patterson caves and finally declares to all the kids on the bus she is FIFTY-FIVE.  Reignah was like WOAH, thats OLD.  Holding nothing back. Reminding her sweet bus driver that is totally in love with our whole family and buses all of our kids since we have moved here.

So today I took all the other kids shopping at Target and of course Reignah is on a roll just cracking jokes and talking about books that she wants to buy when we get to target. Then the age thing starts in. Wanting to know why people get gray hair when they get old and does that mean they are really old?   So now I am trying to redirect at this point and get her into the store.  We get in there and we are getting books…and she picks up a Junie B Jones book. Reignah Joy is an avid reader and has just turned six on the 19th of March.  She reads great. This is a chapter book and a hard book to read but she is determined so we are encouraging her to do it and I tell you what we are in shock at how well she does. (oops just had to brag) Anyhow…we leave Target we are driving home and all of a sudden Reignah Joy SCREAMS really loud “Oh my gosh mommy! Mrs. Patterson is as old as the speed limit sign, not only is she old cause she is 55 but she is also fast!”

I am so going to tell Mrs. Patterson what she said when spring break is over. I  love this kid. I love that she has spunk, personality  and tenacity.  She may need some refining and some  fine tuning…BUT I know this  little one is strong, she is vivacious and not afraid of anything. God knew she was ours and GOD knew we were hers.

The oddest thing…Tim thinks she is a lot like me??? I am not sure why he thinks that? Hmmmm?

Today I have a guest who is a fabulous writer and friend.  Her name is Deanna, but we all love to call her “Deek” she is an amazing woman, friend, mom and wife!  I am sure you will see her here a lot (especially if I have anything to do with it)  Below is her blog…please be encouraged to leave a comment below, it is quite simple to do!

The House is Too Quiet

I can remember the date; December 20, 1998. My husband rocked my world. The words he spoke were “Let’s adopt.” Life has never been the same.

My husband and I were married in 1985. In 1987 our son came along. He was a wonderful child and my son and I were and are incredibly close. We tried for additional children but none appeared. Would we spend the rest of our married lives as a single child household?

When our son turned the age of 12 I “freaked out”. Suddenly my house was too quiet. I mean really quiet. My husband worked afternoons or midnights and my son had the nerve to get a life and hang out with his friends. I found myself home alone all the time. I became obsessed with having a quiet and clean house. I didn’t want anyone to come visit as it could mess up my orderly and dull existence. I was becoming an old maid with a 12 year old son and a husband. Something major had to change. That was when my husband spoke those famous words. Our son was sure it would be a passing thought and that we would NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS follow through. I on the other hand had a new project to sink my teeth into and took on the task in earnest. I turned to my favorite source of outside information – the Internet.

I spent the next week on the Internet starting with www.precious.org. I filled out a questionnaire and based on my answers I found the country we were most suited for was Russia. This was wild! In our heads as we assumed our daughter(s) were in China. Who knows why? Just had a feeling. Soon after we were matched with an agency and the adoption whirlwind began. We were now at December 29, 1998.

At this time in our lives we learned what “leap of faith” truly meant. We were literally sending thousands of dollars to an agency that we could not see and had not even spoken to on the phone for an event that was going to change our life. We went on blind faith and crossed our fingers. What were we thinking? Zillions of emails and thousands of dollars later we finally got a real phone call telling us about our daughters. They were two and four and biological sisters. Did we feel they were ours? We knew practically nothing about them and had to make a decision within 12 hours. How crazy is that? We said yes.

We traveled to Russia on July 10, 1999. In less than seven months our “pregnancy” was complete and we had our daughters. The trip was amazing, confusing, terrifying, fun, exciting and life altering.

Our daughters have been with us now for almost 11 years. I would be a big fat liar if I said those were the most joyful and pleasant years ever. I would also lie if I said I didn’t occasionally question that long ago decision. Of course those moments are usually when there is a screaming match going on or I have yet another missing item of makeup, hair brush, bad grades, etc. But bottom line is these are definitely our daughters and it just took some extra time to figure where God put them and go get them.

Our son is now 23. Our daughters are 15, 12 and 8. People often give us that look. Trying to do the math. I will tell you honestly that my husband looks older than he is and I look younger. It is confusing. My husband likes to explain it by saying “same wife, bad planning.” Funny guy that one is. My son still likes to call it “the day we ruined his life”. He is funny too.

All good stories need to end on an amusing note. Ours does. When our daughters had been home for exactly one year I became pregnant. I know the exact day I became pregnant and I am telling you it was one year to the day that our daughters became ours. I figure that was God’s way of having the last laugh.

Sometimes I sit and wonder with amazement watching my children as they embark on different journeys they take on in everyday life.  The other day all of my kids were in our one room with 15 or so cardboard boxes. Crayons, scissors and markers were pulled out and creations began to unfold. This went on for hours. No fighting, no nothing but pure fun and total bliss. They were basking in the joy of each others company and their siblings art. They made so many great things. No cares or worries.

As I moved to another room I just reflected on how fast that they grow. How wonderful life is with knowing that I see my children happy. Yes, there are times where they have moments where they struggle, where they have illnesses, disabilities and with my eclectic group, different diseases, but that is what makes my family what it is. My family is strong. We have gone through so much as a family it bonds us better than any super glue you can imagine!  There are times where I need to step away and stick myself in time out as I have moments of Eeeks…lol  Nothing is ever going to be perfect, you just cannot have that, that is fake imagination. Unlike what I saw with my children and the boxes.  That was real.

To realize that everyone of my kids have a part of Tim and I in them, excites me. My kids are who they are because of who Tim and I are.

So give yourself a pat on the back today…your kids are little you’s, lol the good and the bad and well…the…(I will let you fill in the rest)