Womens-Place

Umm…yes, it is true, I have a fear of puzzles as sad as it sounds it is a fact. I hate them. While on our little get away we walked into the game room and there I was faced with a 1000 piece puzzle that someone had nicely put the frame together minus 4 pieces.  I walked past it and was icking (yes I know that is not a word) as I walked into our room.  Tim happen to ask me if I liked puzzles and I went on a rant about how I hated them. I told them why in the world would anyone spend hours trying to fit little pieces of cut up card board together just to make the original picture again…when if you love the cute picture and you can just go out and buy it as a whole PIECE!

So, Tim and I go out, we come back and the 4 little pieces that were missing were kind of bugging me…why in the world would one just stop there? So here I am talking to my self…Tim watching me as I start freaking out shaking looking through massive amounts of puzzle pieces for frame pieces.  It gets worse. Did you know that you can force pieces of puzzle to fit together if you really want to? I mean I was on a roll.  I had made several matches, all to my surprise that did not fit. I look over and Tim has got a massive amount of this puzzle together, so I go over and see what he needs and I find my calling in this puzzle freaking addiction. I can look at the picture of the puzzle…look at the pieces and I can actually find what he needs in seconds and before you know it this puzzle is moving along.  Still talking to my self the whole time…shaking the whole time calling out to the fishy pieces I needed to complete the part I decided to find, I was in hysterical belly laughing for a good 15 minutes.  Every now and then Tim would reassure me I was okay and smile…then I saw that the barrel he had put together NEEDED to be connected to the frame of the puzzle before we quit. I was NOT going to let just sit there alone not connected.  Mind you, I hate and still hate puzzles. I do not like the control they have over you.  You get caught up and find your self talking to your self…they make you think to hard to the point where you feel like you like your head will explode, they make you nuts.  So on another tangent of irrational out of my mind talking, looking at cardboard pieces I go. The scariest thing to me was when I looked at the table and knew what I need amongst at least 800 pieces I zoned right in on that one piece that would connect the basket…I looked at Tim and said that was it…picked it up and it was it! At that moment I was scared and said I am done. I walked away think NO WAY…not happening. I am not going to like puzzles…they have this odd power of sucking you in and taking a hold of you.  It was just all wrong.

I actually looked up to see if there was a real phobia for this and I could not find a phobia term.  So maybe one day I can start slow with maybe a big floor size Barbie puzzle or something easy like that.  Something with less pieces and bigger? Maybe this will help me.  For now I am just going to stick with the computer, blogging and FB…

As you saw yesterday no blog…we are on our second night of our anniversary get-away! So we had a very romantic day yesterday of the Finger Lakes up in Ithaca NY. We then went on two wine tasting tours. Wow, I drank a wine that had 18% alcohol in it and it so good we bought two bottles of that.  Any how, that point noted…wine, dinner, Bed and Breakfast, no kids…I will spare you the details.

Today it is a lazy day basking in being alone in a huge quiet home, having been served breakfast in bed as a great start.  Tim  and I meandered out and have just enjoyed our time alone.  Huge whirl pool bath tub, two person of course.  Sipping wine. snacking on cheese.

I am not going to lie, we have called home a few times and we miss our kids within hours of being gone.  I think that is just our nature.

Tomorrows  blog will be hilarious as I will let you in on one of my biggest phobias that came upon me today…you will laugh. I am not sure if they actually have a clinical term for it…but I will look.  Good night…wink.

Wow, sometimes I have to sit back and take a deep breath and wonder how in the world did I get to this place in my life?  By all means I think where I am at now is amazing and I am so thankful to be here.  Sometimes I cringe at how I had to get to this place, but woah…all the things that I had to endure is made me who I am today. Yeah…changing things, wishing things didn’t happen…those are all things that I think of, but thinking of things in the past can’t change them…but they can change the future. I know this, as I have experienced it. From the extreme of losing my 16 yr old son Christopher 5 yrs ago, to having my 5 yr old endure 21 brain surgeries and 18 of them were in a few months…too my medical issues that came out of no where.  Broken knees, wrists, foot, ribs, collar bone, being severely electrocuted, bone cyst that needed to be drilled and a bone graft. Just little things…that if your not in your right mind…standing strong and not taking this as a personal attack, woah man…you could get your tooshy kicked. You could get depressed EASILY.

There comes a time in all of our lives that we will need to stop and sit back and recap on where we have been, what we have done, who we have encountered…then the two other ones that I think that are important are the When and Why.

When will you sit back and recap all the situations and not try to change history.  What is in the past is history, and it cannot be changed. You need to look at it and see what you can learn from it. What you can teach to others from it and what memory that you can dissect from it and savor it to bring you joy.

A lot of times we ask “why”…I hated this when Chris died…I asked a million times why…over and over and over again.  It is so okay to ask why. It is human nature.  I will just warn you now…there is no real answer to “why” and if someone gives you an answer…run fast from them.  We do not know why things happen. God knows, but we do not know. I mean yeah, there is a difference to, like you are speeding down the road and you get a freaking ticket….ummm durrrrr …you got a ticket for speeding. So, yes that is an answered question to a why. So that is not type of “why” question I am talking about.

What I am talking about is a woman miscarries her baby,why?

My Son took his life, why?

My mom died,why?

My baby was born still, why?

My daughter has 21 brain surgeries,why?

I had 13 miscarriages, why?

These things above are so hard to answer. WHY? I want to know WHY?  You can’t give an honest answer to these why questions. If people would stop trying to do that and just be honest and say “I do not know” many people would be better off. But people have to muster up a ton of themselves, or misquoted scriptures from the bible, or say it was meant to be…oh Lord have mercy…

What I have done with all of my mishaps, tragedies, heartbreaks…you name it…instead of giving up, I swore I would rise above that pain and take what ever situation it was and ask God to use me to help someone else. Sounds crazy but every time I have…God has brought someone or something my way to share my stories too and in the midst of that healing of broken hearts have come out of that.

I guess the point I am trying to make is no matter how bad it gets…it will get better. No matter how closed off you feel at least you know I am right here, willing and able to listen. Never lose hope. Never give up. The fight in you is strong and ready to rumble!

How in the world can these little girls come to our homes and invade our will power and get us to by oodles of boxes of theses amazing boxed cookies?  They seem to have this trance like ability to have us by at least one box of each and then when we have the favorites we know we buy one for the family and then we end up stashing the extra box for ourselves. I mean at least I admit it.  But this year something INSANE has happened… NO girl scouts came by, no one out side the doors of stores….drooling  began and I was like embarrassed .  So I knew Lynette was selling and so she knew  I was buying…So all the way from Washington State ….well my boxes arrived in  flat rate boxes and it as been a battle!  My boxes are STILL in the original container they were shipped in.  I never knew cookies talked, lol They have a tendency to make one hear things as  ”eat me” you know you want it. So I guess I need to open those original shipping boxes before they go stale on me.  So I will up date you tomorrow when I take the plunge to get to the new cranberry cookies. That will be my trying time, lol I must show control…lol Look at the little serving size and just eat what it says and all will be just fine???

I am not sure about you but recently I have been thinking about simple acts of kindness. Some people call them Random acts of kindness but I like too call them Simple ”SAK’S”  I think too many people think when they hear  these terms the need to spend money. I actually did a poll in an odd kind of way yesterday. When I was at my appointment where I knew most of the people I was with, I posed the question to them and immediately they thought it was more about spending money.  What if they think I am weird.  I kind of was perplexed because I do not think it is not about money.  I would love to pose a challenge to see simple acts of kindness in different ways.  Facebook can be used to send a private message to just letting someone know they were on your mind.  Taking time to pick up the phone takes a few minutes to call… get a voice mail, leave a kind encouraging message.  Maybe send a person a card.  There are so many simple ways to touch some one who  just needs someone to stop for a minute and take a moment to jot down a note, make a call or as simple as posting a note on their face book wall. There really is no excuse NOT to try it.

The whole thing is when we really take our eyes off of ourselves and look at others we will see how blessed we really are. My goal for the last few weeks has been to touch people in ways that make an impact in their lives. Not for me to get  a pat on the back, but to instill the love of God that flows through me.  God gets  the Glory.  They get a seed sown into them… that seed gets watered by someone else… and on  and on that beautiful cycle goes!

Now if you did have a few extra bucks…some great ideas I have found that works well is a home made gift card for a 6 hour babysitting pass.  Another one I have done is a gift card for $5 bucks for Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks.  A simple card that a sent in the mail.

A word and action can bring a smile to a dark and gloomy day…I want to be a light in someones life. I want people to know that just because someone does something kind does not mean we want something back.  I want to be the person who leaves a mark on someones heart that just is remembered for caring and taking the time for being there in a time of need.

Simple acts of kindness should not be difficult…it should be heartfelt…when it is heartfelt it will become second nature…Challenge…be brave, step out of the comfort zone and go SAK some one!

When nature calls…one must stop time to go with timing!  Tim and I have adopted 8 children. We are trying to make a baby and our ovulation predictor test said it is time!  After thirteen miscarriages, we are ready and covet your prayers to see our dreams and prayers come to past.  11 years of marriage it is time! So, this blog entry must be short as I have some things to tend too! Wish us luck! We will keep you posted on the out come!

I just wanted to express how thankful I am for my children.  There are so many times as parents we go day to day doing the daily things we do with out thought to our schedules.  Some days seem busier than others and some we might have a few more minutes to sit and take in an extra cup of coffee or an extra minute on the computer.

I think there are so many more minutes in MY day when I can actually engage my children in conversation or a game or even a fun walk outside.  I know in my situation with eight children and extra house guests, tutoring, sports, going to the gym, medical issues with some of my children, medical issues with my mom whom we care for, medical issues with my self there are many days I can say…I cannot do it.  I NEED to be here for my children. What will my children remember when I am gone?  I want to not just leave the a heritage of materialistic items, I want to leave them a heritage that lasts in their hearts and minds. Something that will stay with them forever.  Today as I am preparing for Reignah Joy’s 6th birthday she smiles at me and the hugs me and said today is the day you were my mommy! I said nope today was the day you were my Reignah Joy. That statement wrecked me in a great way.  I love spending time with my children. I love seeing them smile, laugh and scream and going nuts when I pull in the drive way.  I want to make memories. Take every moment I can find and make sure my children know how much I WANT to be around them and let them know that they are NOT a bother. So, I guess the challenge today is find a few more minutes in your crazy schedule above and beyond what you do now and start creating more memories that are going to be told over and over because they will be stored in their hearts and soul until the end of time…

I here this all the time and to me I know what it means. To me walking in love is being able to love someone at a time when they are being difficult to love. Maybe even when they may have said or done something to cause you, a person you may love harm or something that is just not normal for that person you really know.  Today I was recalling somethings in my heart in some quiet time that I had. ( yes, I get some, lol)  I knew in my heart that that I hold no grudges at all. I just wonder at times about their well being.  How they are. Hoping that joy has come in their lives. I realized that when I pray for my needs, wants, good thoughts that I include them in all of that. What I decided for me about walking in love is how I want to be treated and talked to is how I need to give out.  Not just words and actions but also in looks. Facial expressions are so misread.  I decided to look in the mirror…reading a lyric from a song I wrote and I watched a my facial expression and it was soft and beautiful and full of passion. It meant something to me. I wrote it.  I connected with it.  Then I read a lyric from the back of a Taylor Swift CD, I did not see the same expression as before.  I did not connect. Why?  Well, I came to my conclusion…I was not familiar with it, it was not something I knew. I was uncomfortable even though I was alone by myself and I can sing.  Now putting this all in to my theory of walking in love…if we just take a chance even in uncomfortable situations and step outside our comfort zone and embrace situations that may be unlovely…maybe they could be lovely?  What if those who are being unlovely and challenging have been hurt by love… therefore needs a strong love to help heal the love lacking?  What if one of us is that strong person that is able walk in love and reach out and watch facial expressions not from ourselves but from others and actions and see who are the ones in need of a magical touch. Might you be the one?  Will you take the challenge?

I use to be so scared to say the word FRUGAL…then I just was thinking why in the world would just one word rattle my cage?  Well when Womens-place started the Frugal board I read for months. My gosh those women know what they are doing!  I am not hard core YET, but I can tell you that FRUGAL does not look like that to me anymore…it is just a word, frugal.   I get so encouraged to see deals and know I can save money that I can use to further our debt free living.  Having 8 kids and two extra family members living with us and one more on the way, well things can get crazy fast!  So I am learning to go slow, read the little flyers in the store, clip coupons, ORGANIZE them, hee hee, big one for me. I would love for more people to input their idea to show me  and other how to take a deep dip into frugalness!